3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Moan for me like Helen Keller
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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