Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize