420 ftw
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i drank out of a bidet.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
