college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
