In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
