Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
