Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Enjoy the penises
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
