This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
