i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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