I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
