you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize