Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
