I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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