And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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