i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
