I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
