He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize