I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
