okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize