I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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