I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
