You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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