i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
