i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
