You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
