You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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