Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had to cum in my sink.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
