Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
