Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
