She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
