I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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