Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
