Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
