you're like a bully in the Christmas story
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I will pee on everything he values.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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