The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
we should paint friendship bongs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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