I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
