I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
