one two three fourrrrnication!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
