I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
