Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize