so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
