So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
