I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
