dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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