He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
