Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
