I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize