If that was your dad, he is hot
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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