i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
