i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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