upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
this just has baby written all over it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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