whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I want her autograph on my taint
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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