Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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