Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
