tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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