she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I could fuck to npr.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
