the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
