pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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