Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
