I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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