how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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