discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
