So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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