My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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