Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
